Freaky Dream Time

I’ve been warned by others. Warned that things will start to get funky when I follow the Thiasos of the Starry Bull. I find myself treading a path that scares me more and more as I go along. It’s like one of those stupid haunted house shows at a carnival, expect it’s not full of drunken teenagers being paid two bucks an hour to scare little kids in this haunted house.

It’s full of deities.

I mentioned before and I’ll most likely mention it again but dreams are a big thing for me. I’ve been a dreamer for a long time, some of my earliest childhood memories are solely dreams (I can’t remember much of my childhood) of all techniques of worshiping and exposer to the divine and dead it’s almost always through dream.

Physically the last two weeks has been pretty draining, I’ve been working on preparing a huge art piece, writing and dealing with online crap I know nothing about. Workwise I am now dealing with Gypsy Romanians for the first time (in busking politics, this is bad news) I’m also having to put up with an equally annoying factor of trying to get the local government back in line and the threat of a new busking season in Melbourne where we have to fend off our territory from outsiders. This is all useless bullshit but it contributes to my mind state.

During this stressful time I’ve also been having these fucking intense dreams. I would not call them nightmares, they feel like the haunted house trip. It’s like I know that I’m going to be scared, you go on a ride to be scared – you volunteer and pay to go into the haunted house knowing what to expect. So in that sense it’s not the same sensation as a nightmare… I’m in for the ride.

Usually these dreams feel short, they include things like severed heads, cannibalism, being torn apart or seeing someone else being killed. Very macabre stuff.

One last night freaked me out a bit:
I was being tortured by an unknown person, it was a familiar voice (pretty sure it was Dionysus, but not 100%). They questioned me: “what do you prefer, intestines or hands?”
I had a choice to have my guts ripped out or cut off the thing that allows me to live the life I live. I can’t continue living without one but I can with the other, but never in the same way again. My hands are my identity, the things I hold special – without them I can’t write, I can’t make art.

I chose my hands to be removed.

In a scene fitting for a Saw film I watched in third person having my hands cut off.

How wonderful.

I awoke not with a feeling of fright or horror, disturbed yes, a little freaked out at what I assume my mind conjures (assumes), but the feeling was a slight comfort. At waking up I look back to my hands, they were still there and my guts too.

I have been warned that things will get funky when I follow the Thiasos of the Starry Bull.

Markos Gage (The Gargarean) — an Australian, Dionysian – Hellenic polytheist artist and writer.
Personal blog
Art website
Email: markus.gage85 at gmail .com




  1. That sounds a bit like a trance session that I had a few weeks ago, Markos. I’m not sure who they were because I couldn’t see them, but a group of people sliced the skin on both my arms all the way around the elbow. Oddly enough it didn’t hurt a bit. The skin then sloughed off both my arms like a pair of long gloves, and underneath I found shiny black snake skin all the way down to my fingertips. I remember thinking, “Hey, this is kinda cool!” lol Yeah, things get really weird working with this bunch!

  2. Seconded on the bizarre but Important and Meaningful dreams. (Capitalizations intentional.) Had my fair share of them in relation to my work with the Thiasos.

    A running theme I am starting to notice in these dreams is torture/sacrifice/bloodletting/physical harm or mutilation that is done voluntarily, at the behest of at least one God, with painless (and even beneficial) results.

    1. … it’s pretty cool that we seem to be having universal and specific themes in our dreams. Actually this is fucking awesome. I suppose it’s a good indicator that we’re on the right track.

  3. Hi, this is making me think I really need to write something for you all specifically addressing the details of the Mahamudra Chod practice, and what it may have to do with your dreams. I’ve mentioned it in my guest piece here and on Sannion’s blog, but it sounds like far more of you than I imagined are having experiences related to this . . . If this is a major element of how Dionysus is asking you to practice, it might be good to better understand how this might be related to the Tibetan Chod tradition (which is, btw, exactly like your dream except deliberately cultivated as meditative technique). I would guess that the practice here would not be identical to the Tibetan/Buddhist versions, but something very close to it . . . ~Adam

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